54 Comments
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Patris's avatar

Women don’t run in herds. Men will tend to. Case closed.

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Do men run in herds because they don't understand women?

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Philip Traylen's avatar

to refute your point, I present myself: a loner who understands nothing (practicing my 'Diogenes' mode of argument)

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Was I making a point?

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

It was a question but it could be a point, coming to it from a different angle.

I understand less than nothing, so I have some way to go, although, I, too, refuse to run in herds.

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Céline sans racines's avatar

How does this track with women always going to the bathroom together? Or how they have evolved to sync up periods when living together?

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Patris's avatar

It’s simple. A defense mechanism - the other? pheromones - scent affects us..

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Céline sans racines's avatar

But still less likely to run in herds. Mmmkayyy

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Patris's avatar

I never did. My observation is that no more no less than boys. When I grew up it was instead divide and conquer for the older girls I knew. I’m a sample of one of course. An outlier probably.

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Patris's avatar

Your interpretation is your privilege.

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Céline sans racines's avatar

Women just contradict themselves on the reg, and it’s awesome. That’s what men need to understand (and not forget) about them.

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Patris's avatar

We have to keep them on their toes..

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Larisa Rimerman's avatar

Very interesting article about specific writers and their 'not understanding women' and many common sense answers. I agree with your POV on all your authors, but Dostoevsky is more understandable to me. Even in his time, his closest friends noticed that his description of women was divided only into two types: Nastasiya Fillipovna and Katerina Ivanovna, and sometimes a mix of both. But they didn't know the originals. It's only later literary theorists opened the real women. All the beautiful, proud, passionate characters had only one prototype of the beautiful and proud Appolinariya Suslova, his young lover, who refused to be his wife after the death of his first wife; the second type of a seek, poor, nervous woman was his first wife, M.D. Isaeva, with whom he passionately fell in love in Semipalatinsk. He had no time to know women. Most of the time, he was extremely poor; he had to write very quickly because he had severe relations with his publisher, and so on. I am sure you know all that; I try to explain it to your readers, who might be interested in Dosoevesky and his women.

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Larisa Rimerman's avatar

Thank you very much for your positive reaction to my comment.

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Larisa Rimerman's avatar

I reread my comment. My god, I sound so grave!

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Anthropocene's avatar

I’m new to this newsletter. I feel compelled to say: it’s rather brilliant!

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Philip Traylen's avatar

thank you for reading, Anthropocene!

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Gadzooks Marchmain's avatar

Didn't the young Kafka write in his diary something like: "why is it always the case that the women I find most beautiful are supposed to be bad"? We must give him some credit.

The error of the male writer is in their attempt to understand women *in general*. I have tried in a similar way to generalise about men, but all I can find that is *general* is a shared tendency to assume they have misunderstood the same thing in all women.

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Philip Traylen's avatar

Yes! I think they all understood women perfectly - as in, better than everyone else - but they found in women access to the part of themselves which they didn’t understand (the part which, coincidentally, didn’t understand women). I think the worst possible position is the self-congratulatory Socratic one: ‘but at least I understand that I don’t understand,’ but Dostoevsky-Nietzsche-Kafka came up, independently, with a formula running something like: ‘I understand that whether I understand is irrelevant’ [coincidentally the foundational idea of psychoanalysis]. I mean that, for them, while ‘I understand that whether I understand is irrelevant’ is perfectly general - can be applied to anything, ‘time,’ ‘space’ etc - it was in sexuality that they found a way to concretise it [art]

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Gadzooks Marchmain's avatar

Do they know it's irrelevant and yet keep trying to understand, because everyone wants to understand everything, ultimately? It's just that the male orgasm appears to be such a moment of crisis! He's accidentally-on-purpose made it to the inner sanctum, and realises he has access that mysterious inscription (pertaining to him, her, whatever), and he's taking a rubbing, but he's a little too vigorous with his crayon and suddenly the whole temple complex is collapsing around his ears.

Art is definitely safer, thanks to those prophylactic brackets around it.

You really can't substitute the word man for woman in any of this. I feel like when the temple collapses women just drag a few nice plinths out into the sun. Or realise starkly that pleasure is a viable existential anchor, in spite of what the propaganda of the matriarchal line has hitherto promoted.

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Philip Traylen's avatar

I'm never sure that I believe that 'male pleasure' exists, or if it does, it's entirely non-sexual. I wonder if homophobia is primarily a phobia of pleasure (more so than a fear of any particular way in which that pleasure is produced)

It (sex for straight men) always, I mean, has a covert existential quality, a sort of scraping the barrel of the soul (I mean this in a good way). I would guess that for women there is also this existential quality, but it's more ambiguously futural (e.g., more mysteriously wrapped up in the future, the idea of pregnancy) and (therefore) much less circular.

It's interesting to write about this; it's the one thing I'm absolutely certain I'm completely wrong about.

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Gadzooks Marchmain's avatar

Isn't it terrifying that we make ourselves so completely vulnerable in a situation where empathy is utterly impossible? Ah, but then, how profoundly “in the same boat”…

***

Maybe this is the one riddle an artificial intelligence will eventually solve.

Sexual intercourse was discontinued

In twenty sixty-three

(Which was rather late.. etc)

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David MacGregor's avatar

Arms at three feet; for a woman; writing poetry about a man ; check out Holderlin’s final poems; by Diotima

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Philip Traylen's avatar

ah I've been meaning to check out Hölderlin (to save me from Hegel). Enjoyed Novalis a lot when I read him. Not sure what the canary is. Amerika is glorious-

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David MacGregor's avatar

ok I get it; still working on Kafka’s Amerika; the canary’s coal mine; Novalis’s Blue

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"Tupelo" Honey Steele's avatar

On the one hand, none of us even see colors the same way and on the other, woman continue to find that those men have something worth saying to them.

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Philip Traylen's avatar

ah, I hope so-

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Leopoldo Primeiro's avatar

Does women undestand women?

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Philip Traylen's avatar

if someone knows, it is not Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Kafka or Cioran (based on what I’ve read of them so far)-

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Leopoldo Primeiro's avatar

I'm not so sure that Cioran knows what a man (or even he) is.

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BLOSSOM HIBBERT's avatar

ur a gift to this world!!

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Philip Traylen's avatar

thank you for reading, Blossom!

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Echo's avatar

love this

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Philip Traylen's avatar

thank you for reading, Echo!

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David MacGregor's avatar

Thank you! You inspired me to write something about Holderlin!

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Nathan Keller's avatar

This pensees will be easy to index later. Admiringly inarticulate abt this but if one can affirm the analogy between the Idiot's St. Pete's and Am'kah, amrcA, asin Saul Steinberg's very many pen drawings of Am'can statues

https://images.app.goo.gl/fFmuvkxDAfPhPsEDA

There was one; there is only, mostly missing in the Idiot, in Steinberg's monuments, the gifts of a cleanliness obsessive to make Steinberg's statue vivants last for the implied promise of a ridiculous 4 hours. David Lynch does this too, under the sign of Arcade Sepsis, our style of lives in which we can forgive sex-robots( Are Us) for winking blinking and nodding , was to come cleanly. The only easy way to say it was like you did about organs upclose, " why t Idiot has to end with the love triangle exhausted, in bed".

A man has to vibrate to the fear of putative responsibilty, merely wordsoundsvomitosvowels, but on the downbeat of joining the Renaissance teaseandplease, to instantly put on the dull dish water expression of a Cleanser 2/3's of the way through her shift? Or another mechanical solution was to say Only multiinstrumentalists can save our days. Somehow, by clowning and breaking a nose in a fiasco of a drunk sleep in a bar, if she or he survives, then Pan has been served?

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Philip Traylen's avatar

I have to re-read The Idiot, I think... To be honest I found the 2003 TV version even more terrifying: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3xinaq . Only Kurosawa filmed snow with any conviction [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJcfJ4Smp9Y], it seems-

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Nathan Keller's avatar

Thanks. I was abt to mix my memories with the disco realities of the Kurosawa. I jokingly started a sstack with “what is a woman, and dangerously wanted to say “She is who nearly can respond to gifts proportionately to their mixed-materials dangerousness. But instead i kept it glib, because I donot know. My glibness today is to say Once she has seen StarTrek, how keep her down on the farm? To which the reply is every woman receive UBI in the form of a car to leave every Russian beardance, I have no right to say it...

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Philip Traylen's avatar

For some reason I think women are more comfortable on farms than men these days, based on what I've seen. I have between five and eight empirical examples of this. I wonder when was the historical moment when men and women felt equally comfortable on ruined farms.

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Nathan Keller's avatar

The Ww2 generation in fact the whole suburban exodous w a s about moving to Green Acres. Preferably a boutique hobby farm...

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Optiskeptic's avatar

The last example of your translation of Cioran - 'His lack of talent bordered on genius' - is a gleefully passive-aggressive gibe to throw at almost any puffed up pigeon pontificating on GB News...

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Philip Traylen's avatar

ngl I'm going to take down GB News one secret Cioran half-translation at a time

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Theresa Griffin Kennedy's avatar

Okay. So what is the point of this essay? All men choose to “not understand” women? Guess I’ve missed the point.

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Philip Traylen's avatar

The point is that great writers take alterity seriously (they can't help it) and that the concept of 'understanding' is always performative, but especially so when applied to men in relation to women (Schopenhauer being the most egregious example). And I think that (sex and gender entirely aside) people would get along a lot better if they committed to not understanding one another, perhaps using negative theology as a point of departure

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Patris's avatar

You are a great contrarian aren’t you?

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Philip Traylen's avatar

I almost believe it, though! But maybe I should qualify and say I mean understanding in the sense of 'fully grasping' - and that this is always dangerous (the sense that you really 'grasp someone' being a kind of violence, or a kind of taming, that the most important thing about someone is that they fundmentally unreachable-

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Philip Traylen's avatar

How are you doing these days, Patris? It's been a while-

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Theresa Griffin Kennedy's avatar

Okay. In my life, I think I've gotten to a point of understanding men very well, women less so. But then I am a cynic too so...

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Céline sans racines's avatar

Dostoyevsky struggled where Tolstoy had it made: “Women are a necessary inconvenience of society and should be avoided as much as possible.”

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Meghaan Lurtz's avatar

I love your writing.

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